Comebacks and One liners

Toddlers are the best at leaving you stumped as to what to say next. All of these examples are from my kids when they were around 3 years old.

Keturah:

I tell her to eat her food. She says "No. You eat it."
I warn, "Keturah, don't argue with me."
She calmly replies, "I'm not. I'm arguing without you."

 To convince her that she should let me put on her tights, I tell her they look cute on her.
She insists, "Cute is not good for me. Cute is for Bekah."

I was driving somewhere in a hurry. When your 2 1/2 yr old asks, "Mom, are we done racing?", when you get to a red light, you might be getting a little reckless.

Again with the food. Trying to "sell" the orange to her, I said, "This is a good orange."
She wonders, "Oh. There is good on it?"

In response to Dad's tickling, "Don't tickle my butter."
(okay, so she was really saying "brother", but it is funnier when you assume she said "butter")

Alex:

To explain why we had to wash his hands in another sink, I told him the soap had run out.
He was astounded, "The soap ran out of the room?"


Explaining why he shouldn't take his toys to his nursery class at church, I said that the other kids might accidentally break them and then he'd be sad.
I then took his hand and starting walking toward the room. He was concerned and said, "Mom, they might break you, too."

Matt was driving and I read an upcoming street sign out loud, "No left turn. No U turn."
Alex exclaims, "No! MY turn."

Bekah:

I think my favorite one (and I wrote about this before) was when she excused herself for kicking her brother: "I'm exercising."

Okay, these next ones are cheating a little bit. Bekah has said all of these in the last month or so. She gets in these moods where she says the most random stuff. Alex recognizes these moments and always eggs her on because it makes him laugh like crazy.

Matt called her a monkey.
She called him a "Beef-Head Chicken"

An observation/revelation: "Shocking someone is like spicy cheese."

Changing up a classic song, "Bob the Biscuit, Can we eat it? Bob the Biscuit, yes we can!"

Narrating an animated picture of a man standing at his front door and a woman on the front step:
Man: I have an eyeball, welcome.
Woman: I want to marry you for breakfast.

Faces

Ah...Christmas morning. It feels like that was a really long time ago. 

Okay, so it kinda was, but I'm done apologizing for the lack of posts. Maybe if I never send or post pictures, it will be an incentive for more people to come and see us. 

You're right, I don't think we are popular enough for that. I'll bet if we lived in Hawaii, it would be a different story. 

This story, however, is our Christmas in Michigan. But I've got my trademark headache going on and my storytelling self is hibernating, so I'm going minimalistic here. Feel free to add your own captions if you think it necessary.

Caption anyone? This one below needs something...Michael can't just get away with that. 

Basically, everyone was happy. We did stockings, then Luke 2, then most presents. We were a little rushed because we had to get ready for church, so the kids ate their mini cereals from their stockings. We did our Christmas crepes later that week. Matt wouldn't eat breakfast on Christmas because he had to give a talk in church. He did great despite being introduced as, "Brother Gayman". I got to sing my favorite Christmas song with the choir, "O Holy Night".
After church, we had the Petersons come over for Christmas dinner and games. They are true friends for two reasons: #1. Keturah spilled her Martinelli's on the table right after I poured it. I was comfortable enough with them to go over to the mess, bend over and start sucking it up off of the card table. That stuff is like gold--you just can't let it go to waste. #2. They still invited us over for stuff after they witnessed my complete lack of  propriety.
Nice, huh? At least I didn't belch or anything.
I did that once at Chili's.
You see, I had worked there for two years. The place felt like home. I forgot that it wasn't.
Matt was with me and still married me.
What a great test that is. You should try it. Chuck manners to the wind and find out if someone is your friend.
Okay, that even rhymes. I should put that on a t-shirt.
Getting carried away.....Christmas anyone?

 Right. Christmas.

After church I wanted a family picture. Bekah was extremely uncooperative. Look at her efforts.

Scary witch face

Complete apathy

Giraffe neck

Falling asleep

Here is her best and she is still looks depressed as ever. I might have been okay with this (even without me in it) if it wasn't for Matt's impression of Gene Simmons getting hit by a truck.

Oh well. It was a merry Christmas anyway.

Bekah boo

 If spending an hour waiting in the car while your dad is in the store is a definition of fun, then Bekah had loads of fun on her birthday. No disrespect to dad, though, it really wasn't (all) his fault. It's a good thing she is so dang laid back and positive because she'd pretty much be happy doing almost anything. (Ok, so she probably would not go for toilet scrubbing or something equally disturbing.) She was mostly just happy to finally be 6.
She did, however, get to do some things that were on her list.

Her List:
read books
color
play with toys

She was really pushing the limit here. As much as I liked the idea spending another day on top of the 357 that we'd already spent doing those same, electrifying activities, I tried to get more out of her and asked her if she wanted to go anywhere. She came up with the play area at the mall. It is like 20' by 20' and mostly for kids under 3. Like I said, she's easy to please. She's also easy on the budget and I can't argue with that. To the mall we went. We also took her to Pizza Hut because she really wanted to redeem her reading coupons.
First things first though: 

She opened a couple of gifts that morning from grandparents.

After pizza and the mall, we went home and I started working on the cake. I don't even remember what anyone else did because the cake was being really annoying. I had to redo one section about 90 times and it took all I had to not just give her a headless butterfly.

Oh, I forgot, she wanted a bubble bath, too, so we got that in as well. And then she got the remaining presents.

It is definitely not my favorite cake. I needed something small because we already had so many desserts around, so I picked this, but it pretty much sucks. Also, it is supposed to be purple, but looks gray here.Whatever. Stupid cake.

Deciduous December

A log of our family activities in the month that went by too quickly.

December 1-18: Matt's latter half of a block of night shifts. I admit this went by slowly compared to the rest of the month, and I'm sooo glad that it went by indeed and he'll never have to do that many nights in a row again. He is also exactly half way through intern year and done with most of the more trying rotations for the year. Pop! Pop! (for you Community fans)

Dec 1st: enjoying the Christmas lights

Dec 3rd: Alex's piano recital. You're only obligated to watch if you are his aunt, uncle, or grandparent. But he did do a really good job. His teacher said he attempted and mastered a song that no other kid at his level would try.

Dec 10th: Sarah's ballet performance of Amahl and the Night Visitors

Dec 11th: dressing up for church

Dec 15th: getting dressed at all on a day that isn't Sunday. And look! Their hair is done--it's surely a December to remember. I even wiped off the snot crusties.

Dec 17th: Matt and I go on a date to the Union Woodshop restaurant. It is famous because Kid Rock likes it and Matt saw it on the Food Network during a night shift and had to try the food. So we celebrated him being done with nights (even though he had one more left) and called it our anniversary date as well, because we never had one and nine years deserves at least a dinner, right?

Ready for a story?  They told us it was a two hour wait, but Matt was not deterred--oh, and our babysitter was nothing short of angelic. To kill time, we walked the streets of Clarkston, which was a fun little town and it was snowing, which made it a perfect Christmas activity. It got pretty cold after about 20 minutes so we decided to huddle in with the other people waiting just inside the door of the restaurant. We saw a little tiny table literally right by the door that was also right next to another table crammed with a family that was spilling out in the direction of the tiny two top. The hostess called for a name on the list. They came over with their martinis in hand, glanced at the table, turned their noses up, and told the hostess that they would keep waiting for a better table. Matt seized the moment and asked the hostess about it. She said that was like the 3rd couple to turn it down and if we wanted it, we could have it. And that is how we cut our wait down by 1 hour and 40 minutes. It pays to not be snobbish every once in a while. It is also a good thing we are the size we are, because there wouldn't have been room if we were more rotund.

Anyway, here a picture of Matt on our snowy walk.

The one he took would have been great but for the stray snowflake seeking the spotlight.

This was Matt's plate. It is even more fattening than it looks. But hey, it's name is The Porker, so it lives true. It is also definitely Food Network-worthy.

December 21st: We made blanket capes

December 23rd: Decorated gingerbread cookies to hang on the tree. Only one actually ended up on the tree. The rest were eaten right then and there.

Dec 24th: Bekah's birthday (we'll cover that later)

Dec 25th: Christmas also gets its own post (soon, I hope)

December 26th: Matt took Alex with another father/son duo from a family whom we all love (so much that we spent Christmas with them) to an Air Museum that had all sorts of flying things and even roller coasters. They also had a flight simulator that Matt informs me is one his wish list for when we are out of debt. So, in like, 1000 years. But apparently they had a ton of fun and I was a little dumbfounded as to why I was left out, but I'm glad they had a good day.

Dec 31st: No picture, but we spent it with another fun family--eating fajitas, playing games, and being extremely entertained by the escalating level of noise as the night wore on. Our kids went to bed after 1am so it is a good thing they changed church to a later hour for the new year. 

Now that we have transitioned to my least favorite month, I'm glad we had so much fun last year. The memories will get me through the bleak winter. Happy New Year!