Before I had a chance to be mad, I remembered that I did the exact same thing in first grade. Except I did it to my friend's shirt. I explained this to Matt because he had that look on his face that read, "Is this kid a total moron?". I told Matt that it must be a 7 year old thing to do. He said, "That's not a 7 year old thing, that is a Locke thing."
Matt likes to blame all the flaws in our children on my side of the family; all the successes he credits to his side.
So how does he explain his lunatic behavior when he gets behind the wheel and encounters any sort of traffic? In fact, it doesn't have to be traffic, he could have had a perfect drive for 10 hours and then the car in front of him brakes a little too early for a right turn and suddenly he wants to blow them up. Yes, really. His #1 request for the last 9 years for his birthday and/or Christmas has been a bazooka license plate. I'm not even going to google that to see if it exists, because I don't want Homeland knocking on my door.
It must be his side passing down the imagination for use of hideous weapons, because Bekah has pulled a couple on us. We read the scriptures at night as a family and one particular night we read about a guy cutting off another guy's head (the Nephi-Laban story). I was just hoping it wasn't too gruesome a scene for my sweet 3 year-old daughter when she asks, "Did he use a chain saw?"
Um...yikes.
Okay, okay, so I am not innocent either. I have broken a window and a mirror, and kicked a hole in the wall on separate occasions out of frustration. At least they are all inanimate object. Completely replaceable.
And lest you think the other ones are too young...
Michael was a little peeved for some reason or another. He kicked the nearest item--the diaper bag--then turned and started walking away. But as he was walking, he was watching out of the corner of his eye...the bag teetered for a moment, but then regained its composure and stood upright once more. As soon as Mike saw that he stormed back and kicked it again, with more force, to make sure that bag was humiliated and on the stinkin' floor like it should be. The kid is one measly year old.
Speaking of one year-olds, here is a sampling of Keturah's prayers last year:
Me: Keturah, say "please"
K: NO! please
Me: Say, "bless"
K: NO! bless
Me: "our family"
K: NO! our family
Me: Keturah, say "thank you"
K: Grrrrr. thank you
Me: "for the prophet"
K: Grrrrrrr. prophet
I guess that confirms it. We should all be committed.
4 comments:
Hahaha! That picture of Alex is priceless.
The nastiest head-chopping scene is at the end of Ether, when the guy is still trying to move and talk after he's decapitated. I always wonder why Mormon felt he needed to include so much gory detail right there.
Blaming a spouse for any unpleasantness must be a Guymon trait.
Watching Michael kick the diaper bag would crack me up!
My kids favorites are Ammon with the arms and burning Abinadi. For months Jason was acting out burning animals at the stake.
ha ha the prayers in our house sound similar...Sophie always says "ok bless our family THERE, ok thank you for the book of mormon THERE, Bless the prophet THERE. it really captures the spirit of prayer. I happen to have a spouse that believes being an agressive driver is safer...I say following the law is safer. when I say this he looks at me like I'm a diaper bag he wants to kick across the room!
Your kids are just the funniest!
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