Yawl, dandy, ketch, smack, lugger, barge, hoy, cat, buss, windjammer, steamer, cruiseliner

We went on a cruise. Before we went people would ask, "Have you ever been on a cruise?" And then we'd say, "No." A fair question. But then we were actually on the boat and people would ask us that. I just thought, "Why? Are you going to humiliate all the 'first-time cruisers'?" That is what you are labeled, by the way. I don't know why it matters whether or not you have been on one before when you are actually on one. They made me feel like there was going to be some crazy religious revival or a public hanging that I didn't know about the way they kept asking. People liked to tell others how many they'd been on, too. "This is our 52nd cruise."
Does that make them 52 times cooler than me?

Anyway, aside from the silly unspoken cruise culture and class system, it was pretty fun. Sorry for the rant. I guess I don't fall for the glitz and no-work environment. Good for a short time, but not for 52 of them.

Here we are on the ship headed toward Catalina, Ca, and Ensenada, Mexico.

Here are some of the creepy things the maids do. I think some people like them and think they're cute. I didn't like that they moved my sunglasses. Maybe it's because I was a tad seasick the first day. Or maybe you have to be a dog lover.

The ship had a lot of fun things to do that we never do because we are boring people. Really, we watch a movie and eat ice cream like 2+ nights a week and have not grown weary of this in the last 9 years. But here we went to a couple comedy shows (the family ones). We also went to some quasi-Broadway productions, we watched some karaoke, which was not boring, much to our surprise. We even got to go dancing a few times. We also went to the gym (I spotted 4 or 5 dolphins while running on the treadmill), played a little ping-pong, and read the Percy Jackson series by the pool.

Food review: most of it was pretty good. A few things were delicious. A few were blech. The eggs benedict was awesome, the waffle so-so. Overall, it was fun to not have to cook and fun to have a variety. I can cook just as well or better than that, but I don't use the expensive foods that they offered, so it was worth it for that.
Here we are spiffed up. I can't tell you how easy it was to keep my clothes clean with no kids around. Amazing.

Enough of the boat--let's do the stops. We had a day in Catalina which was not that exciting. I'll bet it is great when you have money to rent a golf cart or go shopping or whatever. We just walked around debating whether or not to call my dad for a motion sickness scrip. I've never had motion sickness before, so it kinda surprised me. We figured out that it was because the boat started moving while I was asleep and I woke up to the rocking in a room with no windows and it just didn't jive with my brain. Anyway, I decided 'no' on bugging my dad (yes, Matt is and was a doctor at this point, but his license is in Michigan and he doesn't exactly carry a prescription pad around with him). So we went to a grocery store for some soda to cure a headache and we left. Oh yeah, we did call our kids while on Catalina. See? I told you we were boring.

There is our ship way behind me.

Next we stopped in Mexico. At first we just walked around the town and enjoyed the different architecture and landscaping. We also went hunting around for some vendors because we were looking for cheap merchandise. Matt had a lot of fun speaking to people in Spanish and I had fun listening. I can understand him perfectly--the Mexicans a little less, but I got the gist. They all thought he was great and spoke wonderfully. No surprise.

This is at a convention center/museum. The grounds were well kept, but the building was deserted.

My friend, the cactus.

We also got to go on a tour down to a blow hole, supposedly one of biggest in the world.

All these vendors are set up along the walk to and from the blow hole. Matt haggled with some locals and we got treasures. We almost missed the bus because we had to get a churro before we left. Matt talked to the tour guide lady in Spanish for the hour ride back.

I just ate churros.

Mormons and Mexcians

Matt and I have lived outside of California and inordinately far from family for a good 80% of our marriage. (I just read that word in my head the way Captain Jack Sparrow says it: mar-i-AHJE. Feel free to follow suit.) Anyway, so what is the first thing we do when we get to my sister Rachel's house? Ditch our kids and make them babysit.
So we did what cool Mormon people do and we went to the exquisite San Diego temple.

Next, we did something educational because, well, I guess it is just in my Locke blood.
We took our kids to the Mormon Battalion visitor's center and learned about the Latter-day Saint soldiers who marched toward the Mexican-American battlegrounds circa 1847. Alex got to wear the soldier garb and who does he point the gun at? Me. How lovely.

This topic steered Alex into an obsession with Mexico. He already studies maps and is fascinated with foreign languages so it wasn't hard. We told him how California used to be a part of Mexico but he didn't buy it. "What? But there are no Mexicans here!" he insisted. All you've got to do is step outside, buddy. Immediately after that we were getting a cart at Costco when he noticed a couple speaking Spanish to each other. Quiet and discreet do not describe Alex so he was very audible when he exclaimed, "Sweet! Mexicans!" I just hope they took it as a compliment.
Aside from a visit to the Border State Park so we could see Mexico through a fence, we pretty much stuck with American stuff.

The kids were ecstatic to actually have cousins around for a change.
Alex and Steven here.

Natalie liked having a volunteer for hair styling and Bekah loved the attention.

Elizabeth tried so hard to get Michael to like her. Here is a moment where he gave in. She was undeterred by his crankiness and I love her for it.

Four little monkeys on the bed.

We tried the beach, I mean, this was Coronado after all, but it was freezing. The kids tried the water, but in the end, Jason was the only one who swam and the others made for the dunes.

At least the beach was good for a fire and s'mores.
Also, Jedd "knows a guy" and got me my own box of exotic, gourmet, handmade chocolates. I think they lasted an hour. He is also responsible for the awesome pizza we had and that I try to duplicate.

Mary came down later on and we played an unforgettable board game and ate Jedd's homemade kettle corn. The boys went to bed, but these three goons stayed up til the wee hours of morning--those are always the best talks, aren't they?

Here is an attempt at a picture of the kids.

We had a fabulous visit, but we had more places to go and people to see. So we said goodbye and forged on to the next adventure: ditching our kids again and sailing to Mexico.

Pit Stops

I decided that we needed a break from driving so I looked on a map to see what was on our way and luckily, Arches National Park was a perfect stopping place. So we set up our tent late at night and hiked our hearts out the next day. We all loved it. I already knew I loved it, but the rest of the fam had never been, so I'm glad they agreed.

There's just nothing like scrambling up the sandstone to see how high you can go.

We met Brad and Melanie Chambers there for a hike--they were on the same Missouri to Utah drive as us.
I like how the kids are all right under the three towers of rock in the background.

Alex was in his realm and got pretty brave with how high he would go. We'd lose sight of him for 30 seconds and he'd already be at the top of a huge rock.

This proved to be problematic because we lost sight of him for significantly longer than 30 seconds and he scared the pants off of us. We had Matt, Brad, Melanie, and me all looking for him for at least half an hour; we were just hoping he was not hurt or kidnapped.
Unfortunately he was dressed to match the landscape. Here is a Where's Waldo game for you: find Alex. You can click the picture to make it bigger. Oh, and he's not the one in blue to the far right.
Brad found him eventually--he had taken a wrong turn. Thank goodness for Brad and for Alex being okay.

So after that scare we were done hiking. But it was near the end of the day anyway, so we ate, slept, and then packed up our stuff the next morning in the pouring rain. Yes, it is desert and it still drenched us so we could continue our legacy of camping in the rain. Wonderful.

Our next stop was Las Vegas--mostly because it was a convenient distance, but it is also cheap lodging. We walked the strip for entertainment and then regretted it because our kids really didn't need to see all the crap they advertise. Sin City is aptly named. But I'm sure it is fun if you find the right things to do and you don't have kids.

Okay, so the Belagio fountains were fun. The song we caught was a favorite of mine that I had choreographed and performed a ballet dance to a while back.

After Vegas we drove to Matt's grandparents house in L.A. We only had a couple hours with them, but it was a great couple hours. After lunch Grandpa scored some free medical advice and Grandma played us some songs. It was fun to hang out with just them for a change.

Carnies and Compadres

We went back to Missouri for Matt's graduation, but we really went back to see our friends. At least that is why I went. I had no real interest in the ceremonies with 4 wiggly, sleep-deprived kids at my side, but even if I hadn't had them, the highlights of our stay would still have been with our good friends.

The kids all played together as if the two years that had passed were two days.

Here we are at a banquet with the Crellins

Our table at the banquet: the Squires, us, and Jesse

Another banquet with some swell gals. They are all infinitely more talented than me, but they are still nice to me.

Same story here with the talent.



And here.

Matt with his fellow doctor buddies. Not Alex--on the doctor part, not the buddy.

These guys are really smart, but Matt did beat them at basketball. Yay Matt.

We're friends too, lest you forget.

Now for the diploma part. I didn't get great pictures, but man, this event was just plain ridiculous. As far as graduations go, it was great. As far as outfits go, it was comedic. The whole lot of them are decked out in these silly robes with the ugliest hats out there, and as they marched on stage, all I could do was laugh. It was a circus show. Who thought these clothes up? I hope he didn't get an honorary doctorate. And then they have the nerve to make you pay $50 for it. Who made it? J.Crew? It's got about the same feel as a shower curtain, so I'm pretty sure it didn't cost more that 5 bucks to manufacture. Lame.
Anyway...back to the show.

Make no mistake. This is not a "Hooray, I did it! I'm a doctor!" picture.
This is a "Yes! I can finally get out of this clown suit!"

A good day for all.

All except these four. They were cold, hungry, tired, bored, and a little embarrassed to be standing next to the green lantern.

Well, after that we had to say our good-byes and we were soon gone. A special thanks to the Jason's parents who let us have a free hotel room, held my kids during graduation, saved me seats for graduation, and took us to lunch. They were our surrogate parents for the weekend and they are awesome.

Over Drive

We drove over 7,000 miles through 12 states over 6 weeks.
Want to know how driving with four kids equals hell?
7000 mi / 42 days =166.66 miles per day / 60 mph =2.777 hours per day x 60 min per hour = 166.66 minutes per day x 4 children = 666
But we did get to see tons of family and it was totally worth it. I counted 66 family members. This is getting creepy.
Anyway...
What is to be done when driving is so devastating and brain-numbing to your children that even the sight of the Colorado Rockies leaves them resembling zombies?

And when you stop the monotony of a car ride, even a motel room has lost its once adventurous appeal?

You start by breaking the rules. A little recklessness. You know the motel cable is never exciting because when you go from having zero channels at home to 100+ in your little room, there is never anything on.

Nothing was ever broken, but I'm sure the cleaners cursed those little bits of food that Michael got everywhere. And the trashes full of dirty diapers--that was probably a gem, too.

Next, you offer driving lessons. I've never seen a kid that doesn't love having power is their palms at the steering wheel.

Don't worry, that one is parked. And if your drive is as long as ours was, you'll have to buy enough chocolate that could have gotten you 4 gallons of gas and 100 miles instead of brown drool and 4 ridiculously cute smiles.